I had an experience the other day that’s been on my mind for a few days now. A young girl decided to yell out of her car across a grocery store parking lot “marshmallow!” Now…I was thoroughly confused by this situation for a few reasons. I didn’t see anyone else around. I guess she was talking about me? But really? Marshmallow?
I really was like…. It’s the 21st century. Who in the world yells insults at random people? But, I guess it’s easy for me to forget that there are some messed up people out there. I forget sometimes that there are mean people and that some people encounter them more often than I do. Even if I’m mistaken and I just missed the person they were yelling to. But…Someone out there is probably dealing with these mean people.
You can’t really judge a book by it’s cover. There’s also a lot of back and forth about whether body positivity is a good thing, or allowing people to be complacent. Can you tell if someone who is confident and okay with where they are now is also complacent? Can you even tell who is complacent or who is working their rear off for years on end to get any progress?
Here’s the thing… Could you tell from my picture up there that I did this?
It may not be an athletic caliber day, but I’ve done 4 miles just for my morning walk. I may not go beast mode in the gym (yet) but it is a goal.
If you don’t know me, I doubt you could see the struggle I’ve gone through with my health. I haven’t had a soda in 2 years now. Coffee has been out for over a year. I rarely get to eat anything sweet. I rarely ever go off my paleo plan, and usually suffer greatly if I do. I take more supplements than most sick people. I work, read, research, try and try and try again just so I can stay awake during the day. I’ve had no help from medical doctors and have really just had to rely on my n=1 experiments and a local naturopath to get me up off rock bottom.
If you don’t know me, you probably don’t know about the mental health struggles I had before going paleo and that I was misdiagnosed and improperly medicated by a primary care physician. It takes daily self talk, positivity, and help to be able to maintain a positive attitude.
Yoga has been the cornerstone of my positive attitude. Yoga helps me find my center and try to have a better perspective. I also read up on Buddhism because it aligns with how my soul feels how we should be in the world. That unending compassion and recognizing that we’re all human and interconnected.
I think sometimes this is why I forget about those people. I would rather think the best of others. I would rather smile and be that positive influence in the world. I want you to leave my presence a little happier.
Am I perfect? Oh definitely not. I was having a pretty negative conversation about a very negative person the other day. But you know, sometimes you have to have that moment to get those negative thoughts out. Vent in an appropriate way so that if you encounter this person, you don’t have all that negativity built up. You’ve had time to talk it out and deal with your issues.
Maybe that’s what I’m trying to say here. There are better ways to deal with your own issues rather than lashing out at others, especially strangers. You have to consider that that mean comment might not go to someone as centered as me. People have and do commit suicide because they feel constantly ridiculed and berated from everyone around them. Nobody deserves that kind of unkindness. If you feel the need to lash out at others, consider what’s wrong with you and your situation, instead of what could be wrong with others.
Making fun of me doesn’t really hurt me. If anything it makes the other person look silly. They don’t know me and know how hard I work. Maybe that’s another great point.
Know yourself. Thankfully I know I’m not a marshmallow (although I hope some people think I’m that sweet…HE HE HE). If anything this has proven that I have great confidence in my abilities. I know what I do. I know I work hard and have gotten my supplements going well. I know I am so far away from where I was 2 years ago. If anything it’s helped me stop and reflect on the amazing things I’ve been able to do.
I may not have lost 100 pounds (yet) and it may take me years to do it. I may not run marathons (yet) or do crossfit (yet). But I work on it daily. I work on my health daily by making good food choices, taking my supplements, getting more active.
What are my results?
I’ve lost about 20 pounds and kept it off this last year. Not much, not enough, but I’m proud of it. I have destroyed the supposed mental disorder I was diagnosed with and doubt that any professional could diagnosis me as such. I am happier. I am better able to handle life. My skin isn’t perfect, but much clearer. I am able to stay awake most days without naps, where I used to pass out for 3 hours every day. I’ve had maybe 1 or 2 migraines all year (instead of every other day). I’ve even gotten my cycle in order. My energy has finally come back. I’m walk 2-4 miles in the morning 4 days a week and go for 1 mile on off days. I am able to take care of my children. I am able to take care of my husband. They really are the reason I work so hard. This amazing man and our beautiful children.
So my friends I encourage you to not judge a book by it’s cover. It could even be the opposite. Really, in the end, it doesn’t matter if you’re too fat, too skinny, too short, too tall, too whatever. What really counts is how you are as a person. The good you leave in the world. Don’t judge the book by the cover, or the person. Judge it by their heart and their attitude.
That’s it! That’s the end of my ranting and venting. I hope this helps someone out there who may encounter these unkind people. Let it remind you of all the awesome stuff you do and the good that you try to put out into the world. Don’t let it discourage you, let it give you courage to keep going. Keep up your awesomeness my friends.
If anything I love you and thank you for supporting me here on this blog. Now go be awesome and I’ll be doing the same.
-Ami M. Lee, Growing Stronger, The Common Sense Cook